The Lasting Effects of Narcissistic Trauma
Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional trauma that can hurt both adults and children. When a parent engages in narcissistic behaviors, they often use harmful tactics to control and manipulate their child. This kind of abuse is not always easy to see, but it can have serious effects on a child’s well-being. In this blog, we’ll look at what narcissistic abuse is, how it shows up, and how it affects children. We’ll also talk about how shouting can cause trauma and what mental health problems can come from verbal abuse.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of controlling or manipulative behavior with the intent to get their own wants and needs met. This can happen in a romantic relationship, parent-child relationship, or many other dynamics. It can include emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, or financial abuse. People who are narcissists are often self-centered and need a lot of attention. They might use abusive tactics to keep their power. Today we are going to talk about narcissistic parents but it can be applied to any relationship. Here’s how narcissistic abuse can show up:
Belittling and Name-Calling: A narcissistic parent might call their child names like “stupid” or “fat.” This makes the child feel worthless and lowers their self-esteem. By constantly putting the child down, the parent makes the child feel bad about themselves.
Constant Criticism and Blaming: The parent might blame the child for everything that goes wrong. For example, they might say, “It’s always your fault.” This constant criticism makes the child feel guilty and not good enough.
Isolation: A narcissistic parent might keep the child away from friends and other family members. This can be done by stopping the child from socializing or causing conflicts that push others away. Isolation makes the child feel alone and dependent on the parent.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is when the parent makes the child doubt their own memories or reality. For example, if a child is punished for something they didn’t do, the parent might insist that it happened and that the child is just remembering it wrong. This creates confusion and self-doubt.
Emotional Blackmail: Emotional blackmail is when the parent uses threats or guilt to control the child. They might say things like, “If you loved me, you would do this,” or use the child’s fears to manipulate them. This keeps the child anxious and fearful.
Can Shouting at a Child Cause Trauma?
Yes, shouting at a child can cause symptoms of trauma and anxiety. When someone yells, it triggers the child’s fight-or-flight (or freeze) response, which is the body’s way of reacting to danger. Here’s how shouting affects a child:
Stress Response: Shouting makes the body release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones help the body deal with danger but can also make the child feel scared and anxious if they are released too often.
Lack of Insight: Children’s brains are still growing! Therefore, their ability to understand why they are being yelled at is impaired. They might think there’s something wrong with them. This frequently leads to low self-esteem and confusion.
Feeling on Edge: Kids who are regularly shouted at might feel like they are always walking on eggshells, waiting for the next outburst. This constant anxiety can make them feel insecure and worried all the time.
Low Self-Esteem: Constant yelling and harsh criticism can make a child feel sad and worthless. Over time, this can hurt their self-esteem and make them believe they are not good enough.
What Mental Health Concerns Can Result from Verbal Abuse?
Verbal abuse, like constant criticism and name-calling, can lead to several mental health issues. While not everyone who experiences verbal abuse will have these problems, here are some common ones:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD can occur after experiencing verbal abuse. Kids might have flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety.
Anxiety Disorders: Kids who are verbally abused might develop anxiety disorders. This means they develop symptoms such as feeling nervous and worried about many different things.
Depression: Regular verbal abuse can make a child feel very sad and hopeless. They might struggle with symptoms of depression like feeling down and trouble finding joy in things they used to enjoy.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Some children develop OCD as a way to manage the anxiety from verbal abuse. They might engage in repetitive behaviors or have troubling thoughts as a way to feel more in control.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): Verbal abuse can sometimes lead to ODD. This is where a child acts defiant and challenges authority figures. This can be a way for them to express their frustration and try to regain some control.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Long-term emotional problems and difficulties in relationships can sometimes come from a history of verbal abuse. BPD is characterized by intense and unstable emotions, fear of being abandoned, and trouble maintaining relationships.
Is Verbal Abuse Trauma?
Verbal abuse is not the same as trauma, though it can cause a trauma response. Trauma is how the body and mind react to very stressful or overwhelming events. Verbal abuse can trigger the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is caused by a trauma response. It can also result in symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress.
Even if someone does not develop trauma, verbal abuse is still harmful and wrong. It can have serious effects on a child’s emotional and mental health. It's important to address and seek help if you or someone you know has experienced it.
Trauma Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse in Detroit
Narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse can have serious long-term effects. These types of abuse can make people feel bad about themselves, lead to anxiety, and cause other mental health problems. Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse and understanding its impact is important. If you or someone you know has been through this kind of abuse, talking to a trauma specialist can be an important step towards feeling better and recovering. Everyone deserves to live up in a safe and supportive environment, and addressing these issues is crucial for ensuring everyone has the chance to thrive.
To start trauma therapy for narcissistic trauma, follow these steps:
Be matched with one of our trauma therapists.
Learn how to identify and cope with trauma triggers.
Other Online Counseling Services We Provide in Michigan
At Embodied Wellness, PLLC we offer a variety of holistic treatment services for adults and teens with anxiety, depression, and OCD. We also specialize in CBT, ERP, Empath Counseling and Spanish Therapy. We offer online therapy in Michigan. Start overcoming your trauma today by visiting our Detroit-based practice. We also have low-cost therapy!
About the Author:
Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing online therapy in Michigan. She is passionate about expanding awareness of somatic therapy as way to treat and heal trauma. She incorporates other holistic treatments into her practice including EMDR and IFS.