What Men Don’t Talk About (But Should) in Therapy
When it comes to mental health, many men struggle in silence. Society often teaches boys to be "strong" and "tough," which can make it hard for men to open up about their feelings. But bottling up emotions can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems. Therapy, such as men’s counseling, is a safe space where men can talk about things they might not feel comfortable discussing anywhere else. In this article, we will explore the topics men often avoid in therapy but should address for their well-being.
Why Some Men Hesitate to Come to Therapy
Many men hesitate to seek therapy for several reasons. Some worry about being judged by others or fear that admitting they need help makes them weak. Others may believe they should be able to handle their problems on their own, due to cultural or societal expectations. Additionally, some men are concerned about the cost, the time commitment, or finding a therapist who understands their unique experiences. Overcoming these barriers is crucial, as therapy provides a supportive environment to work through challenges and improve overall well-being.
Ways to Overcome the Fear of Therapy
Working through the fear of therapy starts with changing the way men view mental health. Education is key—learning that therapy is not a sign of weakness but rather a tool for self-improvement can help shift perspectives. Talking to others who have benefited from therapy can also provide reassurance. Finding the right therapist is crucial, as a strong therapeutic relationship fosters trust and comfort. Starting small—perhaps with one session or an initial consultation—can make the process feel less overwhelming. Lastly, reminding men that seeking help is a sign of strength and self-care can encourage them to take the first step.
Emotional Vulnerability
Many men grow up believing that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. They may feel pressure to "man up" and push their feelings aside. However, emotions are a natural part of being human. Suppressing them can lead to emotional numbness, anger issues, or even health problems like high blood pressure. In therapy for men, men can learn to express their emotions in healthy ways, making them stronger, not weaker.
Childhood Trauma
A lot of men carry unresolved childhood trauma, whether it’s from bullying, neglect, abuse, or a lack of emotional support. These past experiences can shape how they see themselves and interact with others. Therapy and working with a counselor for men can help men process these painful memories and break free from patterns that no longer serve them.
Relationship Struggles
Men are often expected to "have it all together" in relationships. Whether they are struggling with intimacy, communication, or trust, many men feel ashamed to talk about relationship problems. Men’s counseling provides a space to discuss these challenges without judgment. Learning how to communicate emotions effectively can improve romantic relationships, friendships, and family bonds.
Racial Trauma
For many men from Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) communities, racial trauma is an ongoing challenge. They may experience discrimination, microaggressions, or systemic oppression, leading to stress, anxiety, or depression. These repeated, cumulative experiences of racism can have a profound impact on mental and emotional health. Therapy offers a space to process this trauma, explore the emotional toll of racism, and develop strategies for coping with and healing from these harmful experiences. Addressing racial trauma in therapy helps men reclaim their dignity, identity, and resilience.
Being a Person of Color
Being a person of color can come with unique challenges and pressures. Men in these communities often navigate cultural expectations, stereotypes, and a heightened sense of responsibility to their families and communities. There may be additional stressors related to maintaining cultural pride while assimilating into mainstream society. Therapy for men of color can help them explore their experiences, understand how their cultural identities shape their lives, and navigate the complexities of balancing multiple cultural worlds. It provides a supportive space to address these issues without judgment, allowing men to process and find empowerment in their identities.
Fatherhood Pressures
Becoming a father comes with many expectations. Men may feel pressure to provide, protect, and be a role model. They might struggle with balancing work and family life, fear of failing as a parent, or the emotional weight of their own father’s influence. Therapy can help fathers navigate these feelings and become more present and emotionally available for their children.
Depression and Anxiety
Depression and anxiety often look different in men than in women. Instead of sadness, men may show signs like irritability, aggression, or withdrawing from loved ones. Because society discourages men from expressing sadness, they may not even realize they are struggling with depression. Therapy helps men identify these symptoms and develop coping strategies.
Loneliness and Isolation
Many men struggle with loneliness but feel uncomfortable admitting it. Unlike women, who often build emotional support networks, men may lose friendships over time due to work, family obligations, or simply not prioritizing social connections. Therapy can encourage men to reconnect with friends, build new relationships, and address feelings of isolation.
Sexual Health and Performance Anxiety
Sexual concerns, such as performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, or low libido, are often taboo topics. Many men feel embarrassed to talk about these issues, even in therapy. However, these concerns are more common than most realize and can be linked to stress, mental health conditions, or past trauma. Therapy can help men navigate these issues without shame and explore solutions that improve their well-being.
Anger Management
Anger is one of the few emotions that men are often "allowed" to express, but unchecked anger can damage relationships and careers. Many men don’t realize that their anger may be masking deeper emotions like sadness or fear. Therapy helps men explore the root causes of their anger and find healthy ways to express emotions without hurting themselves or others.
Work Stress and Identity
For many men, their job is tied to their sense of worth. The pressure to succeed, provide for a family, or climb the career ladder can lead to burnout and stress. Some men feel lost when they retire or lose their job. Therapy can help men redefine their identity beyond their careers and find balance between work and personal life.
Body Image and Self-Esteem
Body image issues are not just a "women’s problem." Many men feel insecure about their weight, hair loss, or muscle tone but hesitate to talk about it. Social media and unrealistic body standards in movies and fitness culture can add to these insecurities. Therapy helps men build self-confidence and develop a healthier relationship with their bodies.
Substance Use and Coping Mechanisms
Some men turn to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy behaviors to cope with stress, trauma, or emotional pain. While these coping mechanisms might offer temporary relief, they can lead to long-term problems. Therapy can help men develop healthier ways to manage stress and emotions without relying on substances.
Fear of Failure and Success
Fear of failure can hold men back from taking risks in their careers, relationships, or personal growth. On the flip side, some men fear success because it comes with added pressure and expectations. Therapy helps men explore these fears and develop a mindset that allows them to grow without being held back by self-doubt.
Grief and Loss
Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a divorce, or even the loss of a dream, grief is a powerful emotion. Many men are taught to "stay strong" and move on quickly, but unprocessed grief can lead to emotional distress. Therapy provides a space to mourn, process loss, and learn how to move forward in a healthy way.
Asking for Help
Many men struggle to ask for help, whether it’s emotional support, financial assistance, or guidance in life. They may fear being seen as weak or incapable. However, no one can handle everything alone. Therapy teaches men that seeking support is a sign of strength and that they don’t have to go through life’s challenges alone.
Men’s mental health matters, and therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. While many men hesitate to open up about certain topics, doing so can lead to better relationships, improved well-being, and a more fulfilling life. If you or a man you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a therapist. Talking about these issues isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward a healthier and happier future.
Find a Space to Open Up with Men's Counseling in Detroit & Across Michigan
For many men, talking about emotions, stress, or personal struggles can feel unfamiliar—even uncomfortable. Men's counseling in Detroit & across Michigan offers a supportive space to work through what’s been weighing you down, whether it’s anger, loneliness, past trauma, or relationship struggles. At Embodied Wellness, PLLC, our team understands the unique challenges men face and provides therapy tailored to your needs. Whether you're navigating anxiety, career pressure, fatherhood, or racial trauma, you don’t have to do it alone.
Therapy isn’t about "fixing" you—it’s about helping you better understand yourself, break harmful patterns, and develop healthier ways to cope. Our counselors create a space where you can talk without judgment and get the tools to manage stress, build stronger relationships, and improve your mental well-being. You deserve a therapy approach that meets you where you are and helps you move forward in a way that feels right for you. Take the next step toward healing today:
Get matched with a counselor for men in Michigan
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Additional Virtual Therapy Services in Michigan
At Embodied Wellness, PLLC we offer a variety of holistic treatment services besides men’s counseling that can be beneficial for adults and teens with anxiety, depression, and OCD. We specialize in EMDR, Somatic therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and DBT for trauma. We also specialize in CBT, ERP and Empath Counseling. We offer online therapy in Michigan. Start overcoming your trauma today by visiting our Detroit-based practice. We also have low-cost therapy options available!
About the Author:
Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP, is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing men’s counseling in Detroit and across Michigan. While she isn’t a sole counselor for men, her team includes therapists who specialize in supporting men through the struggles they often keep to themselves, whether it’s stress, anger, loneliness, or unspoken trauma. At Embodied Wellness, therapy isn’t about forcing vulnerability; it’s about creating a space where men can process emotions, challenge harmful patterns, and build the tools for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Through approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, and Internal Family Systems (IFS), Sarah and her team help men move past the silence and into real, lasting change.